Are You Self-sabotaging and Don’t Know It?

As women there are lots of things around in the workplace that hinder us as leaders, but one that isn’t often talked about is how we actually hinder ourselves.

How many of these do you relate to?

We hold ourselves back in ways both big and small by:

lacking self-confidence
not raising our hands
waiting to be noticed for a job well done (so-called “ Tiara Syndrome”- waiting for someone to put the tiara on your head)
feel that one day we’ll be found out (“Impostor Syndrome”)
being afraid to be ourselves and so hold back
unconsciously using diminishing gestures and body language
putting on the masks because we feel that’s what expected
get embarrassed when praised
finding it difficult to accept a compliment
don’t give presentations because we fear we won’t be good enough

….and there are lots more.

Einstein said that “Imagination is more important than knowledge”.

We all have limits – some are imposed by others but many are self-imposed and we let them limit what we can achieve.

And that’s where the self-sabotage comes in- because we create our reality by the conversations we have with others and with ourselves.

The Little Girl Stance

You know that little voice in your head – the Inner Critic-that says “you can’t do that” or “you’re going to mess up”, or “you’re not good enough”- these limiting beliefs get in the way of your success because we convey them in our behaviours and body language and they affect what we do at an unconscious level.

To give you an example…..many women in business feel that they are not being taken seriously and it’s often because their body language and unconscious gestures communicate “little girl” which makes you look small and unimposing. And this has a knock on effect on how you feel as well.

Research by Amy Cuddy of the Harvard Business School, has found that a woman’s body language has a profound impact on her body chemistry. The “little-girl” stance elevates the stress hormone, cortisol, making you feel less confident and so it becomes a viscious circle!

Getting rid of these internal barriers is crucial to your increased success and impact as a leader.

The only way to fully realize your potential is to free yourself from these limiting beliefs and create a new empowering way of thinking that will lift you and support you in the future.

And you can begin to do that right now.

Start to pay attention to your internal conversations and identify the negative beliefs that creep into your mind on a daily basis because the first step to changing it is awareness of the patterns you are running.

Ask yourself the following:

What do you say to yourself that limits you?
What does your Inner Critic say?
How often does she say it?
What triggers her?

Note down what you notice and see if there are any patterns emerging.

Are there any messages that keep cropping up regularly?

Notice their effect.

Then take one of these messages and notice what happens when you contradict it….

You may just be surprised!

Until next time,

with best wishes for your success,

Cath

Cath Daley Ltd.

P.S. if you want to explore more about your Inner Critic, where she comes from and how to make friends with her so that she doesn’t limit you then why not book a free 1-2-1 Transformational Coaching Call with me?

Click here to book your call.